Stupid Protests

Ahhh... protests. Using your so-called 'right' to free speech.


Here's a new classic: Activists help condo owner fight eviction [Boston Globe]

Synopsis: Boston lady can't make mortgage payments, lender decides to foreclose, community protests foreclosure, lender backs off... giving her a 30-day grace period.

These idiotic protestors bitch out the U.S. government for bailing out 'the big guys', i.e. banks. Well, Defaulting-on-your-mortgage-crazy-lady, maybe that's because if all the banks start filing bankruptcy, then your country's entire economic structure will crumble, which will then lead to a whole bunch more people out on their ass in the streets - not just you. This is a simple utilitarian principle, do the greatest good for the greatest number of people. And you, my dear crazy-lady, are not the greatest number.

Why do people join protests that attempt to protect stupidity? This woman is not fiscally responsible. Do I need to repeat that? She. Can't. Pay. Her. Mortgage. These same people will go home feeling great that they helped the little guy out, and bitch about their taxpayer dollars going to deadbeat welfare recipients. Don't protect stupidity! How is this woman any different? She's about to learn a very harsh, but also very important lesson. In 30 days when her bank's leniency runs out, she's going to learn an important lesson.

Related lesson: I end up going to the movie theater with two friends. Friend #1 decides to get food at the food court. I lean over to friend #2, and say: "Watch this, [he]'s about to learn an important lesson." Everyone knows that movie theaters don't take kindly to bringing your own goody bag into the movies. Did I stop him? As friend #1 gets ejected from the movies for trying to smuggle in his delicious contraband, I have a good chuckle at his expense, thinking: "told ya so."

Did I protect his stupidity? No. Did he learn an important lesson? He sure did. Harsh, but important. I consider my inaction a complete success.

The people who don't learn are the ones that piss me off. I get a kick out of seeing protests in the news, because I know, normally, that someone gets a good beat down. And god-damn, do I ever love watching a one-sided UFC match between a cop with riot gear and a taser in hand, and a skinny patchouli wearing hippie using a misspelled cardboard sign as a shield!

Olympics in China. No matter how hard you tantrum, I'm sorry Professor Asshat, they are still going to happen. Sure, the condition of human *ahem* rights in China is awful. But let's be realistic here. They won't going to cancel the Olympics because you stole the Olympic torch. No, no, my activist (whatever the fuck that word means) friends - I mean, honestly, it's the fucking Olympics - the show must go on. That's the bottom line. This is a show. And not only that, it's a show of the 'cash cow' variety. Those corporate monsters will taser your stupid ass into cardiac arrest to make money entertaining the masses (and how!).

No matter how many times Bono shakes his fist and demands that governments do more for the plight of Africa, it's not going to have much of an effect. I think people might be more responsive if he changed his name to George, got rid of his diamond-encrusted-welding-mask-sized-glasses, and gathered some experts (doctors, lawyers, politicians and political analysts, engineers, military advisors, social workers, health workers, and a variety of other professionals) and put together a working group that comes up with a realistic, acheivable, long-term plan that addresses the problem instead of demanding that every richer-than-Africa country throw money hand over fist at a problem and hoping for a different outcome than last time.

So stop protesting stupid shit. At least for the sake of my blood pressure. God I hate writing about Bono. That guy makes me sick.